Must Love Dogs
by writerchic16
Summary: A collection of fluffy oneshots featuring Clark, Lois, and everyone's favorite dog, Shelby.
1. Story 1: Dog Day Afternoon

A/N: For those of you who read my profile, yes, my other stories are still on hold (sorry!). I just HAD to get this one-shot out of me. You know how it is.

FYI, this is based on true events. I just witnessed my mom and stepfather attempt to wash my German Shepherd, and, man, we could have won Funniest Home Videos if I only had my camera. I felt I had to write about it, and what better way than a fan fiction?

Oh, and I'm not sure what breed the dog is, so I'm just going to go with Golden Retriever.

* * *

"So Lois, how long are you planning to stay in Smallville this time?" Martha Kent inquired, placing a full tea kettle on the stove and turning the heat on medium. Feeling bad about consistently dropping in on the Kents unexpectedly, Lois had offered to help make dinner.

Lois Lane grinned at the older woman as she peeled the potatoes that would go with the chicken. "What, sick of me already?"

Martha laughed, used to the college student's sarcasm by now. "No, it's just that I think I saw Clark-shaped indents on the living room couch earlier."

"Hey, he's the one who turned down my suggestion of sleeping in the barn." Lois laughed along with Martha this time, imagining Clark, curled up on the couch in the loft. She was interrupted when she sensed the familiar itching in her nose. Grabbing for a paper towel, she sneezed, then glanced around. Sure enough, Shelby had just walked in. Glaring at the unsuspecting dog, the brunette groaned, "Oh, it's _you_."

"You know, Lois, you could be a little nicer to Clark – " Martha stopped suddenly when she realized that her son, for once, was not the source of Lois' annoyance. She grimaced, taking in the Golden Retriever's matted and dirt-covered fur. "Ugh, Shelby! You've been rolling around in the mud again, haven't you?" Sighing, she took a towel from the counter and started to wipe the dog. Looking up at Lois, she asked, "Can you help me with him? Just…hold him down a minute?"

Lois stared disbelievingly at Martha. When she realized that she wasn't kidding, Lois scowled, but nodded her head. "Ok…" Spotting the oven mitts, she put them on, then gingerly placed her hands around the dog's body. Despite her efforts, she still sneezed at least ten times before letting go, ripping off the mitts and getting a napkin. Shrugging, she apologized, "Sorry, Mrs. Kent, but you're going to have to get Clark to help you with this mutt."

Sighing, Martha gave up and put the towels back on the counter. "It's alright, Lois, you tried. Besides, he's due for a real bath anyway."

At the word "bath," Shelby perked his head up, panic in his eyes.

* * *

The next day, in the area to the side of the barn, Jonathan and Clark stood near a small pile of assorted items. From his mental checklist, Jonathan said, "Soap?"

"Check." Clark responded, noting the large bottle of doggie shampoo.

"Hose?"

"Check."

"Towels?"

"Check."

"Leash?"

"Check."

"Shelby?"

"Che – uh oh." Clark looked around, but couldn't see the dog anywhere. Using his x-ray vision, he saw his mother inside the barn, attempting to coax Shelby out from under a bale of hay. Smiling, he told his father, "He's in the barn, but Mom's having trouble getting him outside. Be right back."

"Come on, Shelby, it's not going to hurt you!" Martha pleaded, now on her hands and knees so that she was eye level with the dog. She was grateful when her son came to kneel beside her. "I don't know what to do, Clark. He won't come out."

Clark noticed the dog's terrified face. "I should only try to call him. Picking him up might give him a panic attack." When his mom nodded in agreement, he called, "Shelby! Come here, boy!"

Getting an idea, Martha pulled a treat from the box next to her, which she had brought with her just in case. Wiggling the treat back and forth so the dog could see it, she tempted, "Shelby want a treat?"

The canine's ears straightened, seriously considering leaving his sacred spot. He seemed to almost think it over for a good long moment, then his eyes widened, as if remembering something. Resolutely he shook his head and retreated further into the hay. Clark scratched his own head, confused. "Mom, are most dogs this afraid of baths?"

"No, I don't think so." Martha answered, recalling her old dog that Shelby was named after. "Perhaps he had some traumatic experience with his previous owners."

"Yeah, it definitely looks that way." Clark sighed, then moaned when he saw the side door open and Lois step out, camera in hand. "What's with the Polaroid?"

Lois grinned evilly. "Oh, I think that Lana and my cousin would definitely enjoy pictures of you trying to give a 150-pound dog a bath, don't you?"

Rolling his eyes, Clark retorted, "Yeah, but how are you going to take them if you won't come within a ten feet of Shelby?"

"This thing has a zoom lens." Lois explained, still smiling. Right then noticing Martha crouching on the floor, she questioned, "What's going on?"

"Shelby won't come out," Martha replied as she stood up, stretching her legs. Sarcastically she commented, "It's possible that he doesn't like baths."

"Oh, maybe he got that from Clark," Lois responded, unable to resist taking another jab at her favorite target. Ignoring the face he made at her, she came in front of the hay the dog was under and nonchalantly called, "Here, Clarkie."

She smirked at Clark when the dog raced toward her, snatching the treat out of Martha's hand in the process.

* * *

Later that night, Lois relaxed in the loft, waiting for the last of her pictures to dry. There was a whole roll of them. It had been a surprisingly fun afternoon, with her manning the camera and the Kents hopelessly attempting to hold on to Clarkie long enough for Clark to spray him with the hose. She knew she would eventually come to treasure those pictures, and not just because she could use them as blackmail later.

Although the idea _was_ tempting.

"Lois? You in here?" Clark's voice came from the barn below. Without waiting for a response, he started to climb the steps.

"Yeah, on the couch Smallville." Lois replied, forcing a giggle to stay in her throat. _He's going to kill me when he sees those pictures. Oh well, more fun for me._

Wincing slightly at the use of the name he couldn't stand, Clark reached the loft and leaned on the banister. "Mom said that dinner is going to be ready in ten minutes."

"Thanks for the warning." Lois purposely got up and strode over to the pictures on the small table, knowing that Clark's curiosity would get the better of him.

Sure enough, "Oh, those are the pictures? Let me see." Clark gathered them altogether in one hand and sat on the couch, followed by Lois.

"Don't get your grubby little fingerprints all over them, ok?" Lois cautioned, moving so that she could see them…and Clark's face.

She was disappointed when he laughed. "Hey, look at this one." He said, pointing. It showed Martha and Jonathan, both in jeans and plaid button down shirts, falling over each other trying to stop Shelby from running away. "Don't let my mom see this. She'll burn it."

"I think it's cute." Lois protested, proud that she had caught the moment. "And there's several pictures a lot like it, anyway. Your mom and dad aren't the most graceful people in the world. Lucky that you always caught Clarkie before he could get far."

"Yeah," Clark smiled when he saw the next one. "Oh, man, I still don't know how he did that." Shelby had somehow twisted himself so that the hose was wrapped around his legs and body, with a piece of it laying haphazardly across his face.

"Oh, I hated it when he did that." Lois groaned, referring to when Shelby shook his body, getting everyone within a foot of him soaking wet. This picture showed the Kents and Clark with their hands to their faces, during one particularly hard shake.

"No kidding." Clark grinned, showing her another photo. Lois' face was a mixture of disgust and horror, recoiling as "Clarkie" shook like there was no tomorrow. "I think I'll keep this one."

"No you don't," Lois grabbed it out of his had before he could react and stuffed it in her bra, the one place where she was sure it was safe.

Laughing, Clark paused when he again shuffled through the pack. It was the last one. His mom or dad must have taken it, because he was sure he didn't. It was after Shelby was all dry. Lois, of all people, was playing tug-of-war with him, his teeth firmly grasping the chew toy. Both her eyes and lips were smiling, despite her red nose. While Lois glanced at some other photos, Clark slipped it into his back pocket.

It would look nice in a picture frame.

* * *

A/N: Heh, this turned out to be a little more Clois-ish than I thought. Oh well. 


	2. Story 2: Revenge

Story 2 – Revenge

Yes, I decided to continue this story, in a way. Thanks to all your reviews! I think that was the most I ever got for a one-shot!

Summary: Shelby doesn't like it when Lois won't let Clark in the house after he forgets his key.

* * *

Clark stood facing his front door, studying his watch. It was difficult to make out the time due to the darkness surrounding him, but in the glow of the porch light he could just recognize the numbers the hands were pointing to. _1:00 am. That's only an hour past curfew. And it's not like I have to worry – Mom and Dad will never know._

He smiled smugly to himself as he dug into his pocket in search of his keys. True, it wasn't like he wasn't doing anything especially _bad_, considering that he knew his parents were at a farmer's convention for the entire weekend. If he was under the influence of Red Kryptonite, he would probably be in New York City by now, using a fake ID to club hop. Being late was good enough for him; it helped him release any feelings of rebellion he may have been having lately, without the risk of getting in trouble. He tried to ignore the fact that the only reason he was late was because he fell asleep at Chloe's house after watching a movie.

Still, he was grateful that the only other person who _would_ know was Lois. Although she may be many things, a snitch wasn't one of them.

Realizing his keys were not in the pocket they usually were, he checked the three others. _Alright, don't panic. Just knock. Lois is probably awake._ With forced calm, he gently knocked on the door, and waited a few minutes. _Maybe she didn't hear me._ Knocking louder, he called, "Lois! I forgot my key! Open up!"

Another five minutes passed, with the door remaining firmly shut. Getting both annoyed and worried, he shouted again, "Lois? You in there?" He was only greeted by Shelby's piercing barks.

Now fearful that something may have happened to his temporary housemate, he stepped back a few feet. With his x-ray vision, he scanned the rooms. Shelby was right on the other side of the door, but he had to walk back further before he could see Lois. When he did, he gave an irritated laugh. _Figures. That girl could sleep through a tornado._

Not knowing what else to do, he circled to the rear of the house and looked at his bedroom window on the second floor. Sure, he could break down the front door or smash in one of the lower windows, but how could he explain that to Lois? And his parents wouldn't be too happy to find their home in pieces. They would probably be more upset about having to pay for repairs than the fact that he had gotten home only an hour late. So he picked up a reasonably sized rock and threw it at the window, controlling his strength so that it made a medium-pitched thump when it hit the glass. He waited again. Groaning, he grabbed a larger rock and almost hurled it.

This time the resulting noise was so loud that it produced fruitful outcome. He grinned when he heard Lois' mumble of "What the hell?" as she came to the window. Lifting it up, she rubbed her eyes and yelled, "Smallville? What's with the unwelcome wake-up call?"

Getting straight to the point, Clark answered, "I must have forgotten my keys. Can you open the door?"

Lois let out a definite groan. "Fine. But only 'cause I don't want the stupid dog barking all night."

Thanking his lucky stars that Shelby's barking annoyed the hell out of Lois, he went back to the front door. On the way there, he and Lois happened to pass by the same closed downstairs window. Suddenly noticing how dark it was, she checked her watch. "My, my, Smallville. 1:00am! Aren't we being the bad boy." Smirking, Lois sauntered over to the window and leaned on the sill.

Clark also halted and copied her movements on the other side. Starting to fear that Lois might not be as trustworthy that he thought she was, he begged, "Please don't tell my parents about this, Lois! I'm only an hour late!"

"Oh, I'm well aware of what your curfew is." Lois tried to keep in from laughing at Clark's predicament. "The question is…what could be so important that caused _Clark Kent_ to shatter his 'perfect son' image?"

Clark rolled his eyes, understanding that she was doing this just to make him squirm. "Not that it's any of _your_ business, but I was at Chloe's house."

Lois feigned a shocked gasp. "Out 'till past midnight at a _girl's_ house? Hm, I wonder what Mr. and Mrs. Kent would say to that…"

"Come on, Lois, you know Chloe's my best friend, and _only_ my best friend. We were watching a movie, and I fell asleep. That's it." Clark let his eyes wander, his gaze resting on Shelby. The canine seemed to be watching the conversation as if it were an entertaining TV show. He was reclining on the living room couch, his head tilted to the side in that way that made Clark think he was being judged by his own dog.

Lois paused, then decided that it would be more fun not to believe him. "Sure, sure, that's what they all say." Smiling cheekily, she stretched her arms and gave a way-too-big-to-be-real yawn. "You know, Smallville, I'm loosing beauty rest because of you. – "

"Something that is obviously a necessity in your case," Clark grumbled.

Ignoring him, she continued, " – and rudely waking me up by pelting the nearest window wasn't very considerate. So I think I'm going to return the favor by making you stay out there. And, well, we can't have you get away with missing your curfew."

Clark stared at her, his mouth slightly open in disbelief. "You're not serious! Lois, it's cold out here!"

"Please, Smallville, you won't freeze to death. It's like sixty degrees." With that, she turned around and headed for the stairs.

She did not expect what happened next. As she was about to put her foot on the first step, Shelby rushed from the sofa to the space under her slipper. Lois lost her balance and fell to the floor. Clark watched in a mixture of concern and amusement while Shelby jumped on Lois's front, pinning her to the carpet. Lois was scared, to say the least. "Smallville, get Clarkie off me!"

Clark mockingly scratched his head, "I would, but how can I if I'm still locked outside?" He actually laughed when Shelby began to bark in her face. In between barks, the dog shot a few meaningful looks in the direction of the window. Getting the message loud and clear, Clark explained, "Lois, I think he'll only stop attacking you if you let me in."

"What are you, some kind of pet psychic?" Still, she couldn't deny that Clarkie's next bark was one of confirmation. "Alright, alright, Clarkie, GET OFF!"

Possibly sensing that Lois was going to comply with his demand, Shelby leapt off his captive. Sneezing a few times as she rose off the floor, Lois moaned, "Great, my allergies are acting up because of all the stupid fur in my face." She was surprised when the dog gave a bark that undoubtedly held some indignation. "Okay, keep your tail on, I'm going."


	3. Story 3: Hide and Seek

Story 3 – Hide and Seek

Summary: Shelby drives Lois crazy as she prepares to go back to Metropolis University.

Review Response:

LeeDej: Thanks! Yes, I did get the title from the movie. Although, I didn't actually see it yet – I just really liked the name.

Dj: Yes, I'm going to continue this as long as I can come up with Clark, Lois, and Shelby scenes (By the way, ideas VERY much appreciated). I love Clois too. Sarcasm rules!

Suekosa: Thanks!

Catz: Um, thanks? What are you trying to bribe me or something (lol)? Yeah, I love Shelby too. He's so cute! (I'm an animal lover, can't you tell?)

Also thanks to everyone else too!

* * *

"Aw, leaving so soon?" Clark leaned against the frame of the doorway to his room, if one could still call it that. Currently, it was a disaster. Women's clothing, size small, was scattered all over the furniture – bed, dresser, floor, etc. Normally it wasn't this bad. Then again, normally Lois Lane was not packing to go back to Metropolis University, with the intention of staying there for an entire month.

"I know you'll miss me to no end, Smallville." The muffled voice came from somewhere inside the closet. Seconds later, Lois emerged, brushing her chocolate brown hair out of her face. "But don't worry, I'm sure Clarkie can take my place as constant pain in your butt while I'm gone. So far, I've taught him to bark every time he sees you wearing flannel."

"How ingenious of you," Clark's words were smothered in sarcasm, but in reality he was quite impressed. True, she could be bluffing, but Clark wouldn't have put it past her_. Even though I haven't been able to so much as get Shelby to sit without a treat in my hand. _"However, I think it won't bother me _too_ much, as I'll be fully rested after many consecutive nights in my own bed."

"Don't get too comfy," Lois warned. Grinning, she shrugged her shoulders. "Who knows? I may decide to come back next weekend."

"Alright, but by then _I_ may have convinced Mom and Dad to change the locks, especially after that little stunt you pulled the other night." Clark replied, clearly remembering how she had refused to let him in the house after he forgot his key and missed curfew. Thankfully, his parents had been at some farmer's convention and so far, Lois hadn't blabbed.

Lois smiled smugly as she placed a few sloppily folded shirts into the bottom of the incredibly large suitcase that rested on the bed. "You do that, Smallville. But then _I_ might be forced to tell them _why_ I gave you such a hard time. As I recall, they are still unaware of your bad boy antics?"

"Come on Lois, you're not a snitch," Clark protested, resisting the urge to beg.

"Of course I'm not," Lois replied, grinning. "I'm simply reminding you of the possibility that I could become one."

Clark rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I just came up here to see if you needed help with your packing. I guess now that would be an understatement."

"That's unusually decent of you, Smallville," Lois commented, ignoring the rest of his statement.

"Well I figure the sooner you're packed, the sooner I can have my bed back."

"Is that all you care about when you won't see me for a whole month? Getting to sleep in your own bed?" Lois questioned, her tone mocking, but although she would never admit it, a small part of her was hurt.

"No, that's not _all_ I care about," Clark pretended to think for a second, "I also can't wait for there to be hot water left when I take a shower in the morning."

"You!" Lois fumed, grabbing Clark's pillow and pelting it at him.

Clark blinked, not quite believing that a college student had just instigated a pillow fight. _Oh well, she asked for it._ He ran to his bed frame and took hold other pillow and smacked her across her middle. "What, you thought I wouldn't retaliate?"

"Oh, that's it," Lois reclaimed the other pillow and began hitting it against his back.

The ensuing fight raged for at least another half hour, moving from pillows to Clark picking up random articles of clothing and throwing them at their owner, always hitting his target. Lois eventually relented and sunk to his level, thinking she would have had to clean the room later anyway.

* * *

Sometime mid-fight, the door was pushed open, unnoticed by either Clark or Lois. Shelby glanced up at the fighting humans, and if dogs could raise an eyebrow, he would have. He had watched these two humans for a while now, and he could not understand what was going on. His doggie sense was telling him that they deeply cared for one another. If that was the case, why were they bombarding each other with various shirts and pants?

He would have joined in if not distracted by the assortment of fabrics on the floor. _Ooo, so soft!_ Dismissing the idea of simply rolling in the pile, for that would attract the woman's attention and no doubt earn him yet another yelling at, he approached the clothing. Making sure to be as quiet as possible, he pushed several of the shirts together in a stack, grasped the edge with his teeth, and dragged it out of the room.

* * *

"Ahem."

Lois and Clark froze. Clark had his arm raised, a tank top balled up in his fist. Next to him, Lois was trying to keep her balance on the bed, her right hand equipped with a black high heeled shoe. Both of the room's occupants slowly turned their heads towards the door. Clark audibly gulped. "Uh, hi Mom."

Martha Kent stood in the doorway, her arms crossed. An amused smile played at her lips, but she attempted to keep stern appearance. "What's going on here?"

"She started it!"

"He started it!"

This time she had to force her laugh to stay down. "By now you both should know that it doesn't matter who started it. You could have broken something, or yourselves for that matter. And furthermore, Lois, that isn't the sturdiest bed frame in the world."

Lois nodded understandably as she worked her way to the floor. "I should have realized that. Especially with Smallville sleeping on it for God knows how long." She ducked the tank top that came flying at her. "Hah, you missed."

Clark hastily searched for another source of ammunition. Unfortunately the closet was on the other side of the room. "Fine, but there's no way I'm helping you pack now."

"Actually, Clark, considering the fact that you co-created this mess, the only fair thing would be for you to join in the clean up." Martha interjected, unfolding her arms and looking down. "Although it does appear that Lois has a handle on the packing. There's hardly anything left on the floor."

"What?" Lois questioned, confused. Following Martha's gaze, she could see that the older woman was right. Only four or five shirts remained, mixed in with a couple of pairs of jeans and underwear. Embarrassed, she gathered several of the exposed bras and panties and shoved them into her suitcase, which was still half empty.

"That's not right," Clark commented, "A few minutes ago you couldn't see the floor."

Martha wrinkled her brow and looked around, "Then where are…" She stopped when she saw Shelby dash by in the hallway, a sock held between his teeth. "Oh…"

Lois sighed in exasperation and ran after him. "Follow that mutt!"

* * *

Lois flopped back on the living room couch. Clark landed next to her, although his breathing wasn't as labored as hers was. They had spent the past half hour chasing after Clarkie. They had missed their first chance to find his hide out when Lois furiously snatched her sock from the dog's mouth. Clark had exclaimed, "Great, now he won't lead us to where he put your other clothes!"

Lois eye's had widened, but she had quickly covered, "I'm sorry, but I'm not used to playing 'Ace Ventura, Pet Detective'!"

Then, they had shadowed Clarkie's every movement. They spent at least ten minutes in the kitchen, watching him as he drank his water. From there the two followed the dog into the backyard, turning their heads when Clarkie did what people usually do after drinking a large quantity of water. The remaining fifteen minutes consisted of chasing Clarkie around the yard as the dog got his daily exercise.

"You kids look like you just ran a mile," Jonathan Kent called from the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water.

"We did," Lois panted. "You haven't seen Clarkie in the last five minutes, have you?"

Jonathan gulped down the water, then answered, "Yeah, he was heading for the barn." He smiled when both Lois and Clark groaned as they peeled themselves off the couch. "I hear you two have had a very interesting morning."

Clark wiped a piece of hair out of his face, turning to face his father. "I guess Mom told you?"

"Yeah, of course I had to wait until she stopped giggling before I got the whole story."

Lois and Clark traded sheepish glances, thinking that they had looked awfully immature when Martha had approached the doorway. Lois defended herself, "Hey, last time I checked having a pillow fight wasn't a crime."

"It is when you move on to shoes and tank tops," Jonathan noted. "What if that shoe and crashed into a window?" Lois only sniffed huffily in response.

Clark laughed. "So you say Clarkie…I mean, Shelby was in the barn?"

"That's where he was heading, last time I saw him." Jonathan grinned to himself as Clark and Lois bolted simultaneously out the door.

* * *

The sight that greeted them as they ventured into the barn could melt anyone's heart. The mystery of where Lois' clothes had gone to was solved. They were arranged so that they formed a kind of bed in the corner, in the midst of which was Shelby, lying comfortably as he chewed on his toy. Cringing at the thought of all that dog hair, Lois commented, "Maybe I should lay off the extra soft dryer sheets."

"Aw, come on, you don't think that's cute? Even a little bit?" Clark questioned disbelievingly.

"Smallville, how long have I lived here?" Lois answered, crinkling her irritated nose. "You should know by now that I think dogs are the exact opposite of cute." Still, she could practically feel the urge to rub Clarkie's belly rising.

"You're impossible." Clark went over to the dog, laid down next to him and started scratching behind Shelby's ears.

"What are you doing?" Lois exclaimed. "Those are _my_ clothes you're wrinkling!"

"I dare you to come over here and give Shelby a good tummy rub. He loves those," Clark challenged, now moving on to the dog's other ear. He laughed as Shelby's thumping hind leg harmlessly kicked him in the stomach.

Lois hesitated. She never could turn down a dare…but at the same time, they were talking about _her_ lying next to a dog on top of her own clothes. She felt her heart turn to mush as she relented, "Alright. But if you tell anyone about this, Smallville, you're dead."

* * *

Martha stood in the kitchen, on the other side of the barn door. "Jonathan, take a look at this."

"I don't know what's more surprising," Jonathan commented, "the fact that Lois is lying next to Shelby, or that Lois and Clark aren't arguing at the moment." Both Kents laughed softly, careful not to disturb the touching scene. Lois and Clark had placed themselves around the dog, laughing as they patted and scratched jubilant Shelby.

What shocked Martha most was that they were on top of Lois' missing clothes. Getting an idea, she grabbed Lois' Polaroid from the kitchen counter. Realizing what she was about to do, Jonathan warned, "If Lois knew you were taking this picture…"

"I know." Martha smiled, recalling a few days ago, when Lois had snapped a few humiliating shots of both Kents, tripping over each other trying to give Shelby a bath. "Let's call this payback."


End file.
